Social scientists and happiness researchers tell us that experiencing gratitude is one of the key emotions involved in maintaining a healthy and happy state of mind. I thought it strange to think of gratitude as an emotion, but upon reflection I guess it is. It’s that upwelling of butterflies you get when you recognize that something good has happened to you. It’s the thing that makes you want to return in kind. In that sense, it is likely the trigger for the reciprocity reflex — that instinctual desire to want to help those who have helped you. It is, as far as I can tell, the precursor to all forms of happiness.
The book Me To We talks about this emotion, which is what has cued me to talk about it here. The nice thing about gratitude, says the book, is that it’s an emotion we can cultivate. It’s not about self-delusion; it’s about seeing the little things that happen right every day, instead of focussing on all the bad things. If you choose to, you can be thankful about something as simple as waking up, recognizing that a lot of people haven’t today. You can be thankful that your car didn’t break down, or that your children love you. There are thousands of little things that happen each day that are there for you to appreciate if you only open your mind and see them in this way.
Life is all about the little things, the details. What do you have to be thankful for? Look for them. They’re everywhere around you and they happen all the time. We live in a culture fixated on what’s wrong. We are bombarded daily by reports on world events that sicken us, and we are told regularly by advertisers that we lack in almost every conceivable way, making us want for everything under the sun if we let them.
Experiencing the good feelings that go along with gratitude is a decision. Are you going to be thankful for what you have? Or are you going to feel miserable over what you don’t? It’s your choice. Make the right one.