I am currently reading Me to We: Finding Meaning in a Material World by Craig and Marc Keilburger. On pages 44-45 I came across a few paragraphs that ring so true for me and echo so well some of the things I’ve discovered on my own and that I’ve been trying to communicate in this blog that I’m going to reproduce them here verbatim. I highly recommend this book.
In the struggle to meet deadlines, impress clients, and advance through the ranks, it’s easy to become so focused on accomplishing specific tasks that we lose sight of how our actions impact our personal well-being, not to mention that of those around us. Many of us fall into a trap and work long hours because of a sense of responsibility to others, not being able to say no at work, or trying to provide “only the best” for our family. We make these choices with good intentions, but in the end they are not the best for our family, or ourselves. We get sucked into a way of life that does not fulfill us.
We want to play with our kids, get a good night’s sleep, spend some quality time with our loved ones, or get together with friends, but then we realize that we have that project to finish, those emails to reply to, that deadline looming. We try to get away for the weekend, but we take work with us and find our relaxation interrupted by the cell phone calls, a ringing BlackBerry, and the constant urge to check email. Americans are now among the most overworked people in the industrial world, putting in, on average, 350 hours (nine work weeks) more on the job each year than their European counterparts.
The effects of our choices extend far beyond family life. Across North America, the value of community has come under attack. Meanwhile, actual communities are struggling to survive as people race after material success and turn their backs on familiar forms of community involvement in order to embrace the idea that if we do not look after ourselves, who will? In his critically acclaimed book Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community, Professor Robert Putnam of Harvard, helps to explain the phenomenon of withdrawal from community as both the cause and result of a larger societal change. Americans, he argues, have become much more isolated. Civic engagement, group activities, and volunteerism are on the decline. As more and more people chase after the ideal of the huge suburban dream home and America sprawls out into suburbs, we are losing our familiar community meeting grounds and increasing the amount of time we spend commuting, by ourselves, in our cars. It’s estimated that every ten minutes of commuting time cuts all forms of civic engagement by 10 percent. In an age of gated communities, the very idea of becoming involved in social life beyond the reach of security guards is becoming less and less attractive.
Our point is not that a fast-paced life is necessarily a bad thing. […] But when the choices we make in our lives leave us with no time, energy, or incentive to focus on anyone but ourselves, there’s a problem.
Very good article and very true. It’s time people got back to basics and the simple life. People are more important than things. I may just read the book.
Stress is one of the biggest killers as it brings about all kinds of illness, breaks down family structure and breeds a society which is fragmented beyond belief.
We have to make choices which benefit our family as a whole even if we have to pay rent all our life. You can drive to the city to work, make more money and never have time to spend time with your kids because you want to own that big house in the suburbs. But do you really make more money. I think if you consider your time on the road, the toll on the vehicle, the gas and all the fast food you buy because you have no time to cook, you are no better off. Better to live in an apartment in the city and have quality time with your family…that’s my opinion.